Venting…

I feel like I should just not pray, I should not speak, I should not do anything when it comes to him. Like nothing. The more I pray, the more I pray for his heart… In every way possible. It is like torture. The more I pray, the more I want to pray for him. The more I pray for myself. The more I pray for his kids, his family. The more important he becomes to me. Continue reading

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Patience

Romans 5:3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 5:4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

After all I have been through, you would think I would be a master of patience. I have been through more than most people would go through in 3 lifetimes, and I still want what I want when I want it. For me I think it is more of, uncertainty that bothers me, and the waiting for the outcome of whatever. Not so much me wanting things to happen right now, but me wanting to know right now. I have waited so long for things that will never happen, or things that never did happen. Continue reading

Obedience

So much for doing what I want. I had asked if the person I am writing about, had read this lately. He said he would check it out. I told him he doesn’t have to. As soon as I did that, still small voice tell me I shouldn’t discourage him. This voice that says I am asking the wrong question. This voice that says don’t ask him NOT to read, but ask him to. When I did, I was worse than stage fright. Continue reading

Praying Without Ceasing

1 Thessalonians 5:17-22 is the picture I have chosen from my bible. For this whole place that I am at in my life right now, I am praying without ceasing, for my children, I am praying without ceasing, and for this person I happen to love, I am praying without ceasing. I am learning about giving thanks for all of it. The kids are an easy thing to give thanks for, they are awesome! The other 2, as long as I remember that we rejoice in tribulation, it is easy. Continue reading