Fasting for your spouse

use to “fast” from Facebook, TV, games, or any other time consuming entertainment, and I never really grew spiritually when I did. I know that sometimes stepping away from those things are needed. But as I study fasting in the bible, I learn that fasting is ALWAYS about food and/or drink. NEVER about anything else. I also have never grown more spiritually in my relationship with Christ as I have with a biblical fast. I guess that’s what happens when you truly go back to bible basics and seeing what the Word says about these things.

Have you tried fasting and praying for the one you love? The person you said “I do” to, “for better or for worse”. You vowed to stand by their side no matter what, but as soon as it gets hard we’re ready to give up. If you are going through struggles and ready to call it quits, I urge you to fast and pray for 21 days, just 3 weeks. You can fast from your morning coffee, that sweet treat you love to eat, a full meal, maybe even meat or a combination of those items. Pray daily for how you FEEL and what you want especially if it lines up with God’s will. I challenge you to do that. See if you’re still ready to give up at the end of it.

Matthew 4:4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

If you put as much prayer in your spouse and faith in God as you do food in your face, I guarantee you will see a difference.

Your prayer can be as simple as to not hate your husband, to be a better wife and be the wifey role you auditioned for, for him to love you as Christ loves the church, for your focus to be on the Lord, both of you.

Taste and see the Lord is good…


Women are an emotional mess!!!!

I am looking at the few blogs that I have written so far. Man, am I up and down! Yes I do believe my postpartum plays a role, but even still, that’s how God created us to be.

Today I love my husband! Lol!

Not everyday does he make it so easy. Those days I have to chose to love him. Playing my wifey  role with no complaints and with joy in my heart knowing that it is pleasing to God can be challenging. Knowing I am not alone makes it easier.

I have learned some of us have petty husbands, block us from Facebook, unfollow you on other social media sites, do and say things that hurt your feelings, and for what? Because they’re petty! Others have ditzy ones who don’t realize their laziness, and lack of compliments hurts your feelings. You have the uninterested ones as well, that only care about sports and beer, not you. That’s just funny to me because I hear all the jokes about women not wanting sex after marriage, but I hear from all these women about the husband not giving up the booty.

In 1Cor chapter 7 speaks on how your body isn’t your own and how you should not deny one another. Women, do not withhold from your HUSBAND! MEN GIVE YOUR WIFE THE D! A little public service announcement.

Just know that whatever struggle you are going through in your marriage, you are not alone! There are so many others going through what you are, and just giving up. Have you prayed for your husband today? Have you been doing wifey duties lately? Whatever that may be in your home. Have you been unpetty back? Have you even tried to give him some when you haven’t been getting any?

There are real problems that women deal with. Have you tried to talk about them? And have you listened to your spouse?

Pray for your spouse today. Be real with God about everything and what you want. If you sugar coat it with God, how will you ever get what you want?

How unhappy can one be?

And how blind is the other? I am unhappy but it doesn’t mean I will treat my spouse that way. My focus is on him and it needs to shift back onto God. I will be doing a modified Daniel fast starting on the 1st of May. New month new beginnings and I will be praying for him and us. We haven’t been to church in a few months due to a new baby, a sick baby, my mother passing away and work. But the 1st I get a brand new set schedule and I cannot wait to start!

I’m not even sure if I am unbappy or just feel unwanted at this point. I forgot how much having a baby can change you!

Tired, unattractive, attention shifts to the baby….

I am unhappy. He plays a role in it, but I cannot let someone else control my mood… don’t we do that all too often? I think we do. Somethings gotta give… and the only thing that really works for me… prayer… even when it doesn’t seem to work, it has a way of working. When there’s no one to talk to, I’ve got a lonely blog to write on… a place that no one knows exists. And all my thoughts just go out into the universe. But I really wish I had a person I could feel comfortable enough to open up to. Maybe one day.

I hate him

I hate him i hate him i hate him… some days its worse than being married to my 1st ex. But I don’t wanna hate him. The old me would just find someone who would appreciate me… but the grass isn’t always greener. And on top of that… I am not willing to take a chance on my marriage because I don’t wanna be the one to mess up… hes not my boyfriend anymore… hes my husband… my thoughts are wandering but God needs to be enough for me right now…

Sometines I feel I need more from God… like now… he is my shield and my great reward… and times when I am not getting what I need from my husband i need it from God… we are not perfect so how can I expect my husband to be?

God how can i expect my husband to feel love for me, when I don’t geel it for him? Why is marriage so hard? I nean we’re still in the first year… this should be honeymoon stages… but its not… its almost like hebhates me for getting pregnant… but then he loves his daughter and doesn’t regret her so i really don’t get it…. i want you to be enough not just for me… but for him… for him to make the choice to follow you with his heart and not just the motions… i want you to change my heart attitude towards my husband because hating him is wrong…. if i didn’t want so badly to be right with you i would have left him already… but ur worth being right with.. and thats all I want Lord… help me thru this depression I am feeling… maybe if I wasn’t stuck at home with the kid I would feel better… maybe I just need to get out… but as the mom I am the responsible one. By default… it always seems that way… things just seem so off God and I am asking that you fix them… not me… I realize I can’t fix them… I have tried and failed and I need you to take control… i need you to… I am asking you to. I pray these things in Jesus name..Amen.

A man who doesn’t want head????

Ok for real, what man doesn’t want head? Yes I am pretty good at it. This is my husband, we’ve barley had sex in months because i was pregnant… now I am not, but we have a 2 week old.

Women you know clearly i am not having sex but why can’t i just please my husband? We’re not supposed to deny each other. But yet he continues… This is not helping this bs postpartum either… I don’t even look like i just had a baby… but yet here I am.. feeling like crap…

God I don’t know what needs to happen, but you do… this is not going to work for me… so I am really asking for you to do whatever needs to be done… cause at this point I am just not happy with this man… I know that my happiness doesn’t come from him and I eed u to remind me of that. Hes not even horrible… I just seem to be liking him less and less each day. I don’t want to be going thru the motions… i want it to be real… for both of us. Lord i need guidance and for him to change something… hes not who i married lately… and this has been going on for months… how long does this need to last for?

When he’s a Jerk.

If I can’t be real with myself and God then who can I be real with?

Truth is, maybe I am over reacting… it still doesn’t mean he can be a jerk about it tho. I may have a bit of postpartum depression.. my daughter is 12 days old and the past 2 days I have been crying. I don’t feel beautiful, loved, or wanted by my husband… he askes me whats my deal over a text, i respond… he says he didn’t read it because it was too long… so why ask in the first place???????

As we’re going thru marriage counseling (not because we have problems, its pre marital after the fact) he wrote some things in his journal… he shared some of them on how he thought he could be a better husband. Some of the items include being empathetic, and understanding… which I need now… or could really use considering this whole just having a baby, women get in emotions type thing… so this is what I am asking God for right now…

I just really dislike him right now… i don’t hate him… i have been there… i am asking for him to be who he says he wants to be… just console my crybaby self Lord… you are my comforter, maybe I need to focus on that. Sometimes you send others to do that for you. I haven’t been in this place before, so I don’t know what to expect, i know I am feeling a little extra sad, and pretty alone. I almost feel like I’m going thru what I went thru with my ex husband and my 1st daughter… maybe there’s a lesson i need to relearn… but he still doesn’t need to be a jerk!!! If his heart was focused on you, then we wouldn’t be here… maybe I am not as focused as I should be on you either Lord… i pray for our focus to be on you Lord, i am asking for guidance, comfort, and peace, and above all to not have bitterness in my heart towards him. I ask these things in Jesus’s name.. Amen..

Power of Prayer

I do believe that it only works when one is willing… my husband has a willing heart if only pretending at first. Or maybe more so going through the motions… when you obey God, even without that willing heart tho, things can change.

My husband was willing to do marriage counseling. Its really pre marriage, but we’re already married. Just to help.lay a foundation for us. And he is willing to build relationships with ppl from church as well… that is helping a TON!!!

But its all helping answering this one prayer i have for my husband. The only prayer. That his heart is after God and in turn becomes more like Jesus.

He is starting to fellowship with ither married Christian men… and i don’t mean the ones who just go to church on Sunday and say the right thing. I am speaking about the ones whose lives actually reflect Christ. Loving one another, making sacrifices, putting others first, being selfless.

There are truly some days that I feel hate towards the man i have chosen to love and spend my life with, and I have to be honest with God to take that from me. .. but lately I have not only chosen to love him, but I have begun to fall for him all over again.

When he makes me upset, and causes me to get in my feelings, I have to come to God in prayer first to look at myself and am I right to be angry? ( Jonah 4:9 …. doest thou well to be angry? …) Most of the time the answer is yes… then i have to look at what I, MYSELF, can actually do about it. I can’t change him. So then i want to hate him, so I cry out to the Lord and I pray for him.

One of the hardest things you can do, and most rewarding, is pray for someone you hate in your heart.

The more you pray and cry put HONESTLY to the Lord, the less heavy your heart feels.

The more God does in a way of answering your prayer.

Today I am just thankful that there is a glimer of hope for change. His heart is opening up to God, and spending time with Godly men. Planning on his own to spend time in the Word. Things that I never could have made happen. The love I have for this man is only because of God. Still plenty of room to grow, but so thankful that God has opened my eyes to see the glory of God thru my husband.