When he’s a Jerk.

If I can’t be real with myself and God then who can I be real with?

Truth is, maybe I am over reacting… it still doesn’t mean he can be a jerk about it tho. I may have a bit of postpartum depression.. my daughter is 12 days old and the past 2 days I have been crying. I don’t feel beautiful, loved, or wanted by my husband… he askes me whats my deal over a text, i respond… he says he didn’t read it because it was too long… so why ask in the first place???????

As we’re going thru marriage counseling (not because we have problems, its pre marital after the fact) he wrote some things in his journal… he shared some of them on how he thought he could be a better husband. Some of the items include being empathetic, and understanding… which I need now… or could really use considering this whole just having a baby, women get in emotions type thing… so this is what I am asking God for right now…

I just really dislike him right now… i don’t hate him… i have been there… i am asking for him to be who he says he wants to be… just console my crybaby self Lord… you are my comforter, maybe I need to focus on that. Sometimes you send others to do that for you. I haven’t been in this place before, so I don’t know what to expect, i know I am feeling a little extra sad, and pretty alone. I almost feel like I’m going thru what I went thru with my ex husband and my 1st daughter… maybe there’s a lesson i need to relearn… but he still doesn’t need to be a jerk!!! If his heart was focused on you, then we wouldn’t be here… maybe I am not as focused as I should be on you either Lord… i pray for our focus to be on you Lord, i am asking for guidance, comfort, and peace, and above all to not have bitterness in my heart towards him. I ask these things in Jesus’s name.. Amen..


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