This morning as I pray, I really do pray happily. Most mornings I am joyful when I pray. Some of the time I am in tears, as you can tell by my prior, inconsistent post. But the truth is, all the time in between, its because I am not really crying upon the Lord. That is an issue because it seems I become inconstant in prayer. When I become too inconsistent, the Lord gives me something to pray about. Some of you may be thinking, “what a horrible God that he would let your husband be such a bad man, or you seem so wonderful, how could he let this happen” LOL. Yeah but compared to Jesus none of us are good. Compare me to someone who lies daily, or Jeffrey Dahmer and I am a saint!! Yes! But in reality, we all fall short the glory of God right? Rom 3:23
I have never prayed for a husband like I have prayed for this one. The last one I had was the sweetest man ever, gave me everything I could have ever asked for, back rubs every night, I could do whatever I wanted, but he was jealous and when he drank he got physical, and one day he tried to kill me. I gave him an option, Alcohol or me, and he chose alcohol. And even after he chose that, he still broke into my house and tried to kill me one last time before he gave me the divorce. I forgave him, and we made peace. Had I prayed for him, who knows, maybe he would have chose me, and he could have been the sober man all the time. I fell short in that marriage because I did not do what I was suppose to as a wife.
So this time around, yes, I can leave him, Yes when he talks about divorce, sure I can let it happen, and if he leaves, 1 Cor 7:15 I can be all right and not look back. Even still. I would have fallen short. In my eyes I would have fallen short. I have learned that whenever it talks about the “unbelieving” in the word of God, sometimes that means those who live as the unbelieving as well, not just those who don’t believe. There is a difference between the believer, Someone who has accepted him in their heart as their savior, Rom 10:9-13 ,someone who just believes on Christ, and a Christian, Someone who follows Christ in their daily walk. Someone who is Just going to go to heaven, and someone who will reap the rewards in heaven. (Matthew 5:12; Luke 6:23; 1 Corinthians 3:14; 9:18 ;James 1:12 ) Why did I point that out? There will be more joy in heaven over one sinner that repents, then over 99 just persons who need no repentance. Luke 15:6-7 , If there is MORE joy, then there could be less joy, however, there is still joy nonetheless. And Joy is joy. This verse gets me, Matthew 16:26-28 , The first verse is about salvation, a believer alone. Going to heaven or hell. I do not have to pray this prayer for my husband, and thank God for that! But after that, once you are saved, and you are saved by grace through faith alone not of works, please do not get that confused, Ehp 2:8-9, but in that 2nd verse, of Matt 16, you will be rewarded according to your works. and if you think you have all good works then bravo, but those lies, those looks, that hatred in your heart, that unforgiveness you’re holding onto, you not putting God first, you putting everything else before him, all of that, will be rewarded accordingly. On the other hand, so will you the friend you lead to Christ, the prayers you prayed for others, the people you tried to help, your heart meaning well, the old lady you helped across the street lol, all of that will be taken into account. And that is what I am praying for my husband, and my daughter, and my friends. They are so blind to the spiritual realm at times, they cannot see past their 5 senses (not all of them of course, speaking in general, and my hubby is the main focus) and this is a major focus of prayer! Now the last verse, That could just be talking about the rapture, I assume.
I am joyful even when I am in an unhappy moment, because joy is eternal, and happiness is an emotional state that can change like the wind. I can get angry in 0-60, and just like that, I can forgive the next minute. Why am I bothered because he cannot see the spiritual battle that is going on around us? He cannot grasp the everlasting beauty of the life beyond, and maybe he is one that thinks that Heaven is good enough. Rewards are better lol, Why not get that crown of life? Why not get that mana from above? Why on earth, would you want to not get all that the almighty wants to give you in heaven? It for sure boggels me, and sometimes I give him that look like….
But hey… I guess that is why God made Adam a help meet!