Thy desire shall be to thy husband

Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

It was weird, the other day after I had posted “My husband, my lord” post, I was messing around with calling him lord again, and of course, Satan, wanted to mess around too. And out of nowhere, here he is (the husband) talking about I told you I would give you whatever you asked for in a divorce. I was like really? WOW!!! And this was all because I told him he couldn’t bowl on Fridays because it didn’t fit the family. He had to find another night. 

For some reason, I want to be married to him. For some reason I don’t want this divorce. He said to me, “I told you I would give you whatever you wanted in a divorce.” I responded with, “You mean this divorce that I don’t even want?” So, then he asks me the great question, “Why?” Well isn’t that a great question? WHY? The question of all questions! LOL, it really is. Because I will tell you, there are so many days, when that is what I want. No lie! Then I responded with a dollar amount and told him I wanted the house, but really only for the next 5 years because it’s just too much of a pain to move, but we can sell it after that and we can split it LOL, I just went on, but I know that’s not at all what God wants from me. I just see how Satan is just working! As I call him lord, I am showing submission, and maybe he is seeing how he is going into leadership, I do not know for sure.

I told him, after all that, once again, I do not want the divorce. I am praying to stay in this marriage, and sometimes I do not know why. Is it because I love him? I love him, because I choose to love him. I make a chose to wake up and show him love, instead of being reactive constantly. It doesn’t always work out, but I do try. The day after I wrote that blog post, I figured it out. I figured it out because I went through it again. As I went through it God showed me this verse. Genesis 3:16 “…and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” I truly have a desire to my husband. One that I have never had before. God has given me this desire in my heart, I only wish I knew why it was so deep.

I believe it is because of 1 Peter 3:1-6. I just have to obey the word, and I can only obey the word if I know what it says. Without the word, be won by conversations of the wives. It is so hard sometimes. Showing love when you feel angry, for something that happened yesterday, or when you haven’t quite forgiven him, and you know you should go to the Lord in prayer because you must have this forgiving heart and you need the Lord to forgive them for you. When he asks me “Why?” My answer became The Lord gave me a desire for you, so ask him, “why?” and he dropped it. I told him we have to go on dates and eat dinner together at least 3 times a month, which isn’t anything new, it’s what we used to do. I told him he must also give up some of his Friday nights for me, if I decide to let him bowl. I will not stand by and allow me, his wife, who comes first (after God of course) to be last, and his family be on the back burner to anyone, or any sport.

He took me on a date, that he planned on Saturday. Told me I will get my way. He went from talking about divorce as I call him lord, Satan comes in and plays his game, I played my game some, but I knew he wasn’t ready. In return, I stood my ground with the Lord’s Word. I submitted to God, it is the only way the devil can flee, James 4:7. He won’t just leave because you say, In the name of Jesus, I rebuke you Satan! LOL nope, leave that for the movies buddy! You must Submit to god, AND resist him. It can be hard, but he will flee. If you want to know what it looks like, a good picture is Jesus. In Matthew 4, he had to resist Devil AKA “the tempter” himself. Now keep in mind, Jesus was the living word, and if the living word had to quote the written word {like in Matthew 4:But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.} Please do not be deceived thinking you do not need the written word yourself to fight the devil off. Jesus said it himself, right there, WHILE quoting the written word, man shall not live by bread alone, but by EVERY word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.

I think the best part about this is the turnaround time. It’s only a day or 3. I am not waiting weeks or months for changes to happen. But the down side is there are constant battles. I expect that. God is really doing a work. Satan doesn’t want that to happen. Of course, there will be the back and forth of them both. Until God just shuts him down. There is a saying, if you are willing, God is able. But what happens if you aren’t willing but your wife is praying God’s will over your life? During the time you are halfway pretending to be willing? Matthew 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon (Treasures or riches). Well you cannot serve 2 masters, we know that, but whatever you feed more, you will grow more. And when you pray Gods word back to him, he really has no choice but to do it. So I just am really wondering what will happen. God has already showed me who he will become in him. It is just up to him to become that person.

The morning it happened I was sad, and then God showed me this verse, and I cried, and I was just like, “Really? Really God?? This is what you have for me today?” Then I didn’t write for a few days. Not because I was angry or anything, I just didn’t write. It was in my head to write, I just didn’t get on my computer. The baby was sick and stuff came up, and the day after was a wonderful day for us. I really should have written on the dreadful day I had. I have to really stay focused so you can be updated in real time. I know this is new to me. The more I write, the more consistent I will become and the more accurate I will be. In all honesty, I thank God that I have this desire for my husband. I know he isn’t the greatest one, but God gave him to me, and because of that, he has made me greater. Maybe God had a better one for me and I just didn’t listen because I am stubborn and hardheaded, but I have become so much more peaceful, my anger issues have gotten so much better, and I have grown so much in the Lord because of him. I have to thank God for that and for him.

Today, yes, I pray for my normal things that I have been praying for, but I want to thank you for my husband. He has made me better. Thank you for him in Jesus name Amen.

 

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