I got a message from a friend I have had for over a decade today, and it made me feel better. I was feeling down, because it seems like, no matter what I do, it’s never good enough for my husband. I didn’t talk bad about him, I just told him well I’m not doing well because I think I will be divorced soon. I don’t feel everyone needs to know what is really going on. I do not wish to bad talk him, this is the father of my youngest daughter, and he is still my husband until he is not. From a biblical stand point on marriage. So my friend hits me up and asks how am I doing, and of course not well. This is a friend of mine that has lived in Florida forever, and I am in the Midwest somewhere, so we are not close at all. You do not have to be to be friends, but as I tell him that I am not doing well, he goes on to say somethings that are rather shocking to me. Continue reading
There are things that I do not fully understand. That is fine, that is sometimes the way things are. We cannot see them for what they are because we are blinded for what we want them to be. At the same time, when we rebel against God, sometimes things do not work out the way we want them to. Everyone can say that they love God, but the moment you serve him, that’s a different story. I think I am at a breaking point. I have not been consistent in prayer, and not that, that automatically means God will not do right by me, no, but I feel that I have failed. On the other hand, I cannot make someone serve the Lord who doesn’t want to. James chapter 2 really goes into detail about faith without works being dead. It’s just like when someone uses the word love, but has no actions to back it up. As I re-learned love, I learned through Jesus, that love is ALWAYS a selfless act. Regardless of how you feel, you can still choose to love someone. Continue reading
I guess someone can only be unbothered for so long before they are bothered by the one who is suppose to love and protect them. A heart can only break so many times before it is shattered into a million pieces and like humpty dumpty, cannot be put together again. Is it my fault because prayer for him has become inconsistent? Is it my fault because some days I hate him even though I do not show him anything but love??
It’s really hard to write, when you feel like your best friend could be reading your every word. So I stopped for a while. God is telling me, “write, write, write.” So, here I am, back on it. I have to listen to him, because even though I may be writing with my spoken word, I am not fully obeying him, and partial obedience is still disobedience to God. Partial obedience killed King Saul. In 1 Sam chapter 15, I see three things: Continue reading