This is something I learned many years ago. (I still struggle at times) Sometimes it kind of sucks because you wind up living in a world where you feel no one understand you. But you can step outside the box and understand everything, and everyone as if you are watching a movie you already know the ending to. This does not mean you are perfect, or that you approve or agree with other people’s views or life choices, but that you can see where they are coming from. You also can see the stupid things you do, know when you are wrong, when you will lose, and you have to be humble enough to know when to give in. The funny thing is that I am a very complex person. Proverbs 14:29 typically is talking about two polar opposite people, but that can be me in one, and that is not always a good thing. Most people who are quick to wrath, are also slow to forgive, hard-headed, just about never admit fault, and I am sure I could go on and on about describing you or someone you know, lol. However, that is not me. Life is too short for that, Jesus forgave us even before we were born he died for our sins, and paid that cost upon the cross, I need to be able to forgive you. It may take me a time or two to learn a lesson, but it is usually because I have been burned before, and I have had to learn the opposite lesson the hard way, so now I have to RE-learn the lesson I learned in the beginning, over again. I hope that makes sense lol.
For the longest, and maybe even still, I really only know two emotions. That is anger, and love. With my anger, I can very much so come incorrect, however instead of throwing things, and yelling, and kicking and screaming, it is usually just a question, NOW, It used to be rage. I am mostly calm. And my anger does come from a place of hurt. I cannot lie about that. My love on the other hand, it is not the love where we will cuddle, and I will tell you the good lies, and everything is picture perfect. No, my life is the one where the good lies become the hard truths, because I love you enough to always be honest with you, and I will go to the ends of the earth and back for you. My love is the one where I will give someone my last dollar because they need it more than me. It is about their needs, wants, happiness, over my own. It is not about the material in this world, it is about what I can do for them. My love sacrificial. As I got older I had to re-learn love, as I learned who Jesus is. I will put their life before my own, in many ways, just as Jesus did, John 15:13, 1John 3:16, There are a few things I am still learning from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, But I can honestly say, after my anger dies down, so does any kind of envy or arrogance, I may have in the moment. But Like I said, I am always a work in progress, and when he is finished with me, I will be with him, so I am good with that, when he is done in one area, he will be working on the next lol. I have come such a long way!
I have been studying the word of God since I was 11. And I was able to really dig deep since I was 14, and I have been walking with him since I was 16. I have not been perfect in my walk, sometimes it has been shaky, but I have never lost my relationship with him. One thing I know for sure is, when I am weak, I am strong, 2 Corinthians 12:9-11. Those weak and low points in my life become my strongest moments in life. One thing that we fail to do often as Christians is realize that HIS grace IS sufficient. See here you have Paul seeking to be understood, and in the midst of it, he finds understanding, and what a beautiful thing it is. He wanted God to understand HIS pain of this thorn in his side and he asks him to remove it 3 times. Once God answers him with, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Paul realizes that, Most gladly He would rather glory in his own infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon him. This may or may not make sense to you, but this is why it is so much more important to me, to seek understanding. Gods grace is sufficient, for any pain, any wrong anything I may have in my life, and whether I am wrong or not, and whether I feel alone or not, I am not alone, and things are made right because I have Christ, not just by my side, but he lives inside of me. Proverbs 3:13 Says Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding. Paul had pain, but after he got that understanding God never removed the thorn. If I can understand someone, I can learn them, and build a relationship with them, that relationship can be the difference between them knowing Christ or not, or it can built on the fact that we both know Christ, who knows? It is all so the difference in me learning how to love them, regardless on what that means for me. Doesn’t that make it worth it? If at the end of the day, you can have a humbled ego, vs learning how someone else needs to properly be loved, isn’t that worth it? Proverbs 4:5 Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.
Once you have that understanding, and you see where that person stands, or what that situation is, REMEMBER that. Everyone, even people who do not believe on Christ know what John 3:16 says, For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. The act of love, is ALWAYS sacrificial. But it doesn’t always have to feel like that. Jesus, loved to love. Because I am blessed with understanding, and sometimes it is delayed lol, I will not lie, I also prayed to be able to understand, but I enjoy unlocking things, it is like a puzzle. I enjoy bringing joy to others. So often we, and sometimes in the moment myself included, forget or never know what John 3:17 says, For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. When we react, or judge, we do it in a judgmental way, and not a loving judicial way. That is why we all need understanding, because If Gods grace is sufficient, then why do we have to struggle so hard in giving grace and forgiveness?
*Disclaimer * If anyone was wondering why I used this photo. There are always two sides to every story. Suicide we always hear the ending things getting worse. This is positive side of it. Just like understanding. I probably don’t even need this disclaimer here lol, but it’s here anyway, cause its my blog and I can do what I want! LOL