There are three qualities to really take note of in an individual, Loyalty, Respect, and Honesty, and that is someone you can truly trust. There is this song, “If you want love” and some of the lyrics are;
If you want love, you gon’ have to go through the pain
If you want love, you gon’ have to learn how to change
If you want trust, you gon’ have to give some away
The point of me sharing is, this is where I feel I am. I believe in love, and I mean real love, not just an elated feeling that we get when we are happy, but the kind of love that is sacrificial. The kind of love that will literally lay your life down for someone else. Jesus of all people to ever walk this earth was the living embodiment of love. The only way to ever have love, or trust is to give some away. 1 John 4:19 says, “We love him, because he first loved us.”
“Respect is earned.” I spent my whole time in the Marine Corps hearing that. Well, it was either that, or something along the lines of, “you want them to respect the person, not the rank.” I do not fully disagree with these statements, but how do you think respect is earned? Do you think it is earned by demanding it, or by giving something first? You give respect in order to get it. In a relationship, there is a bit of a different dynamic. It is the woman’s job to respect the husband, 1 Peter 3 and it is the mans job to love the wife Ephesians 5:21-33. This is what is commanded of you. The woman needs the love, and in turn she will give the man the respect he deserves. If at any point in a relationship the man is feeling disrespected, all he has to do is show love, and if the woman is feeling unloved, she should only need to show honor and respect. However, that is not the way it seems to work, and with the man being more of the thermostat, and the woman being the temperature, and the fact that the man is the head, he will typically carry the weight of being the bigger person. I have played my role in being the bigger person, and I can tell you it isn’t always easy, especially when the other party doesn’t seem to get it. That is no excuse to stop.
“Honesty is appreciated.” Honesty is appreciated, is an understatement. I was talking to my daughter the other day, and she keeps saying she doesn’t have any friends. I always ask her why, and this was the first time she gave me an answer and she said, “Fake is the new trend.” So of course I asked her if she is following that trend, and she tells me how she isn’t and that is why her friend wanted her to go with her to look for a dress because she was the only one who would be honest, and tell her she looked fat, LOL. Before you can be honest with someone else, you must be honest with yourself. This is what I am having the hardest time with. I know what makes sense, logically, I am a woman, and logic doesn’t have to be logical for me, but logically, I get it. I thought that was the honesty I needed, but as one chapter closes, I realize the chapter has been closed, and I am not being honest with myself. And once I became honest with myself, and I do not deny what I know is there, I am once again free. Today, I thought I only had to hate for my switch to be turned off, but as it turns out, I had to just bring that honesty within, out. It doesn’t matter what is done with it now. There is nothing I can do about it. But now I can fully be honest with everyone else. I am one of those that is truly honest to a fault. I have no filter, I do not think before I speak, I do not put other people’s feelings before the truth, and I believe that if you love someone, you do not withhold anything that may hurt them, you do not lie, you just come forth and be honest because hurting someone with the truth gives you a chance to save face rather than someone hating you because you lied, and now have lost everything you once loved over what? Maybe that wasn’t the case. True love begins, when you learn to love unconditionally. Love doesn’t come with a price, it is the MOST precious gift from above. 1 Corinthians 6:20, you are bought with a price, and that was one life for another. It doesn’t matter how bad of a person you are, how much wrong you do, Christ still loves you. Can you imagine receiving that kind of love? You are loved because of all the right you do, and you are forgiven for all the wrong. Can you imagine giving that kind of love, and NOT getting it back? I can, I am there I think? And so can Christ, and a mother can to a child often times. But honesty I suppose has different levels for different people. I cannot deny myself, for a flaw, or something that I know is coming to an end. I cannot do that, and that is where I was going wrong lately. In order for me to be honest with you, I must first be honest with me. Are you being honest with yourself? Or are you holding back, and lying to yourself as you try to reason with logic? God lives outside of logic, he is outside the box, you cannot put him in the box, nor can you reach the sky living in one.
“Trust is gained.” If you want trust, you’re going to have to give some away. You either need that, or to be a man of your word. Over time, you will receive it. Do not violate this, honesty, being open and then closing yourself off, holding back, lying by omission, are all ways to violate this. If you care, if you love, even half of what Christ does, just be true to those you love. When I love, I love hard, and you will not find someone who will go the lengths I will for you, even when I am hurt, I cannot stop caring, I will not become vindictive, I may want to hate, but as it turns out… I thought I could do that, until today. Maybe my switch is broken, or maybe my switch doesn’t work when I truly love. God’s word is amazing! I wish I could say how it could fix a broken heart, but more so, how it can show you how to properly react to one. At the same time, God is telling me to keep it open for now, and I have to trust God that HE knows what he is doing. I want to say, ” oh yeah I trust God 1,000%, He knows what He is doing with my heart, and even though there is pain going on in there, its fine, no big deal.” I have to believe that, LOL. First I must trust God, and I am perfectly fine with trusting man, and understanding that we all have shortcomings, and THAT, is the reason Jesus, came, and died for us. I need to trust myself, that my feelings to love, are completely okay, even if I am told otherwise.
“Loyalty is returned.” I do not know about this right here LOL!!! When you are loyal to someone, even if you do not have to be, does that make you a fool, or does that make you wise? I guess it would have to depend on the situation and level of loyalty? This is a very touchy line for me. I didn’t realize this until I started typing away. Outside of my besties I grew up with (and to be honest, there are some of them I cannot say are very loyal outside of me always being there) I am really unsure of when loyalty was returned. I mean, I thought I had it here, I am not sure if I do or not still. You look in someones eyes and you see so much, but then their actions are not there, but that is because they are not really being honest with themselves or everything at hand or something. Honestly it hurts at times looking at them. You know they are holding back what they do not want to, but at the same time, you are unsure of what it is. They watch you suffer, and they are not good with it, but then again, are they? I do not know. I can say this. So often we want what we give, and that is what we expect of others, I know I can receive it, but will I? What happened to me seeing the future? LOL. There is a reason, I am so good at what I do not know, because my feelings get in the way once I do.
Above all else, I value honesty. No holding back honesty, the kind that will make you hurt, but you will be able to forgive again honesty. The kind that makes you take a look at yourself at times, and the kind that can put you in your place, and that kind I have only gotten that consistently from one person. I trust that person with my life. Regardless of what I may be thinking, only because they have not corrected my thoughts, but I do trust their word. I have no choice but to. It is hard, when things change and you have no control, and there is no better person to have control, than someone who truly understands it, except for someone who wants it. God is constant in this ever-changing world. I have learned how to really pray, I just wish I had someone to pray with, I don’t care how small that prayer is… “God, protect my family, thank you for my blessings, in Jesus Name, Amen” I do not care. God’s timing is perfect. I cannot wait to have hindsight so it can all make sense!