Am I Petty, Slick, or I think I have his Permission?

This is short… maybe? lol

So I asked my husband if he listens to anymore Tony Evans? And he was like no, and I was like… OKAY???? and just sat there, he could tell I was kind of upset as I was just silent. I wasn’t going to start anything. I have been sending him some to listen to, only ones that can help him. He responded, and said, “I don’t see why I need to listen to any, I can hear them every morning when I try to sleep and you get ready for work.” As to my reply was something along the lines, “But the door’s shut, and I keep it down, you can hear when I am in the bathroom?” I am pretending as if I am in shock. Now I am not trying to wake him, or make him listen, lol I only listen to the next one in line, but he makes it very clear, it is only a door, he hears every word clear as day!

Well Ok then! I can just make sure I listen to the ones I want him to listen to in the mornings when I am getting ready lol, since he doesn’t need to listen when I send them, as he doesn’t see why because he can hear them clear as day… LOL now correct me if I am wrong but those were HIS words in response to why he hasn’t listened to any that I had sent him, lol. That means I can just play them again to ensure he is hearing the Word of God same as me, outside of Church. Maybe I am being a bit petty… but hey he said it.. not me!!! LOL

We talk about the word, we have a memory verse on the wall we are trying to memorize together, but this is different, lol, he halfway gave his permission for this. That is what I am going with…

Am I Being Specific Enough?

I Was talking to my small group teachers on Sunday, about what I am praying about. The basis about what I am praying about LOL. I am choosing not to go into detail this time with anyone because at the end of the day, I can say it is only God. What I mean is that, I do not want to seek counseling. Unless he was to come to me and say, I think I need help. Period. I am not pushing anything on him, that is not the way I am going. I am praying that a few things happen and I have already posted a lot of the verses in with my prayers ina previous blog When you pray in Gods will, How can he deny you?

Now God loves a specific prayer. He doesn’t want you to be too broad, he can answer that at anytime, in anyway. It makes me think of the genies that are evil (not that God is LOL) but the ones that say I wish for a million dollars, boom you get a million dollars, next wish is, I wish for a home, that million dollars went on that home, and next is I wish for a wife, well we all know that you cannot make someone fall in love, so now she divorces you, and takes the house, and now you are broke, homeless, and wifeless. Or you can pray for rain, but you really want it to rain on your garden that is your back yard, well he lets it rain in your city but it misses your house. That’s probably a better illustration of God while the other is a better one of the Devil LOL.

So once again, I am praying that my husband, Love and puts God first. Matthew 22:37-40 In away nothing else matters, The reason I say that is because, If he can love God with all his heart, soul and mind, FIRST, and that being the first and great commandment, and you read down to verse 40, Jesus says,” On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets”. So in loving God and Loving one another, then you would willfully want to do everything else. To include the rest of my prayers. But somehow we are not built that way and since we are praying specifics, I go onto my 2nd prayer.

My 2nd prayer once again for my husband is for him to love my like Christ love the church so much he gave himself for it. This is that Ephesians 5 kind of man. Ephesians 5:21-33 And this entails so much. I know this will not happen over night AT ALL! But if he can start dying to himself. Start butting me first. That could make a big difference. If you notice I started it in verse 21 submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God, then wives to their OWN husbands AS UNTO THE LORD, I just want to point that out, that wives have limits, and you submit one to another in the fear of God. {This is side note. So girlfriends, fiance’s, you do not have these roles yet, these are the wife roles, and the husband roles, once he gives you his last name, that’s when this stuff applies. He doesn’t like it, well he can find some else, and he isn’t worthy, or he can upgrade you.} Submitting yourselves one to another, when could that possibly apply? well you have 1 Corinthians 7:2-6 how your body is not your own. Believe it or not, I am NOT the first woman who has had a husband who has turned down sex. If he is getting off a long day at work or whatever. It is his or her civil duty to give up that booty when married, unless you come to an agreement for prayer and fasting. Hey maybe the Dr says you can’t and I really home that is something you BOTH can agree on especially if there is a baby on the way. But then I also hope you can agree on something else as well. Back to the track because I can easily get derailed LOL, The point is verse 21 is for both husband AND wife, and then it is going back and forth and the husband has A LOT to take on. He has to fully understand Christ, but I just need to see him die daily like Paul said, 1 Cor 15:31 sounding like a crazy man on the good that he doesn’t do, and the evil that he does, but doesn’t want to but how he does do what he does do Rom 7:19-25 He has to be mindful of it, with his mind he serves Christ, it is a mindful decision. That is what I am praying for of my husband to learn Christ, and lay down his life, his selfish desires, and love me like Christ loved the Church. Like I said there is SO much more to Ephesians chapter 5, but I am just asking for a start. So That brings me to my 3rd prayer for him.

I am praying that he gets back into discipleship. Once again this verse comes up, but it is the end if the verse. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard, “Christianity is a man made religion, … the word Christian isn’t even in the bible, …. Christian is a great consent, but it has no real meaning….” LIES!!! This is why it is so important for my husband to get back into discipleship. Honestly, this should be number 2, but for me it is number 3, but it has to come before number 2. He cannot truly know what it means to love me like Christ loved the church without knowing Christ. But this is the order of my prayers. I am the one praying these things LOL. God can still show him how to die to himself, as he goes through learning to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. Now MAN may have perverted Christianity… and it sucks… yes… it sucks and I hate it because if you are one of those people who believe one of those 3 things I am sorry it was probably not even a christian you have learned that from. See the bible does use the word Christian, it is used 3 times. 3, divine completeness and perfection. As I type that Its just awesome how He is apart of the trinity, and rose 3 days later, and all that, and just wow! But the first time it is mentioned is says EXACTLY what a Christian is. The end of Acts 11:26 …And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch. Oh and if you click on it, it also says they were in church, so yes to be a Christian, you would be in church. {Another side note, there are so many people praying on the hope of people today, I pray if you are reading this today, you find that GOOD BIBLE teaching church home, I know it is hard, but one easy thing to look out for, if the pastor reads one verse or no verse, get out, if the collection plate goes around 50 million times, get out, if he promises you for a small weekly charge of $19.99 today you will be healed, get out now} Back on praying for my hubby… The more he learns WHO Christ is, and the more time he spends with him, the more he can emulate him.

I do not know if it has calmed down more, or he sees it, or he is tired of me talking about it, LOL but I still pray he can see the spiritual. I know I see it. I always see it. Not that I see stuff flying around LOL like I am in a movie or nothing LOL, but I can see the attacks. I feel like a crazy person. But I see it with my Husband I see it with my 2 besties, and I am so frustrated that they don’t see it. I can tell when greatness is about to strike. Last week was hard. All he did was get mad at me one day and play words with friends with me the next… Wait… I was feeling like the crazy person??? Hold up… I take that back lol… never mind! But this week he has been pretty sweet and I am still praying for him. I know he is still a sinful man. I am not perfect either, but I am not praying for myself yet people! This is about HIM! 🙂

This was going to be the last one but there is one more after this, and these can go hand in hand. I want his heart on fire for the Lord. There have been times when there is this spark… and its like, I want you to imagine, this 10 year old boy is learning to light a fire, and he had trouble with it, maybe hes a boy scout, campfire, one of those groups, pick one, and he REALLY wants this fire badge. I don’t know, don’t care if it’s a thing, for the sake of this story, it is! He FINALLY like 3 months later gets this fire lit!! And it is on FIRE! He is sooooooo freaking happy! He is telling his scout leader, his fellow troops, abiding by the rules, and everything, because this little campfire boy scout finally got this fire badge and he is on FIRE about his FIRE! And here comes Lucy, and pours water on it… every single time. That’s what happens and he quits his campfire boy scouts, and he cant light his fire again. So I do not want that to happen again.. at all please no Lord. Thank you.

And Last but not Least, this goes with that, but he is so musically talented, and God has shown me all the places this man will go, if he just truly follows him. So, just GO! Follow him, and grow, take out your music stuff and do. , that is all.

I know it was longer than most and sometimes that happens. I will be praying about me later I think, I will put me out there, more in detail. ??? Maybe. But until then, I just ask these things In Jesus Name Amen!

I have a 6th sense!

Oh my here I go sounding like a crazy lady! But I am suppose to be a Christian I cannot be a Psychic! WHUUUUUUUT!!!! See that’s not even what I said! LOL! I said I have a 6th sense. I can see beyond the 5th, beyond taste, touch, sight, hearing, and smell, and at times it drives me crazy! I just want those closest to me to be able to see what I see. Its like that song, do you see what I see? NO they don’t!!! LOL

Ephesians 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Basically, everything that happens in this world isn’t about the physical. Yes we may see it that way. It may manifest itself in physical form, but it is not physical, it has a spiritual root per se. That can be good or bad. I skipped a day of prayer, first it was by accident, or by spiritual battle, I got up and got on Facebook and started looking at videos, and next thing you know I am on snap chat, and then I am up looking at TV. I have yet, to listen to the word, or read it on my own, and I have yet to pray for my husband, kids, or my close friends that I have been praying for daily. I also say a prayer for my closest enemies as well. I haven’t said a prayer for any of them. And amazingly, as I didn’t pray for any of them, My husband had an amazing day with me yesterday, better than he did all week long. Matter of fact, it was the best day we have had all week long. And I just so happen to skip a day praying for him. How convenient. The devil, probably didn’t feel threatened by this as, what reason would he have to, as I am not asking the Lord for any help for my husband to put him first, no struggles there, I am not asking the Lord for him to love me like Christ loved the church, and I am not asking him to get back into discipleship. I am also not asking to stay focused on the Lord and I sure didn’t do it myself yesterday until I went to bed, it was the very last thing I did before bed, and I made sure I thanked God for the peaceful day we had. For the first day we had with no strife, for the day we had together with laughter and we did talk about him before bed together. But I did stay mindful to respect him and show reverence to him, and everything I had been praying for, as myself towards him. In turn as the devil stayed back, I thanked God for that, so maybe I got to put one over on him (the devil) for once lol, maybe not.. but what I do know is that I did not put God first yesterday.

And today when I did, and after thanking God for all of that yesterday I know, he was mad… Because today, it started right back up again… lol.. Man oh man. I knew it was going to happen. But could my blind husband see it even when I pointed it out to him? No. That’s why I say I have a 6th sense. I keep telling him, stop getting so mad, Lucifer is just mad that you are about to be something so great but you have to let go of whatever sin you are holding on to babe, and he gets mad at me lol and I don’t even get mad… I just pretend I don’t know more than half the time. I’m sure there is more than what I know, and maybe it is all that I know. (for those of you just joining me, you have to read in the past to know whats going on) God has shown me this AMAZING man in God he will become. But he won’t let go. He doesn’t know how to let go of his past. And then he will get mad easily and hold grudges, and he does not easily forgive. I would say I need to add that to my list of prayer for him, but once he puts God first, and loves him, all else will fall into place.

I used to have this whole list of things to pray for. But then it changed. It made so much sense why Jesus said in Mark 12:30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

If you love God, to love someone has actions, and is selfless, you put their wants and needs before your own. Same for loving your neighbor. So all I really pray now is that he loves God and loves me like Christ loved the Church so much he gave himself for it. The more I pray, the more I see Satan move in. That’s how I know its working. In the past I have gotten tired of the attitudes and for some reason I have stopped praying and, I mean he has still gone to church and everything, and I took that as a sign of God answering prayer or something??? NO!!!! It was like lukewarm water this whole time. Its like I can drink hot coffee, and I can drink it almost hot, and I can drink it cold, but lukewarm is disgusting!!! YUCK!!! No thank you!

THANK GOD he has allowed me to tolerate his mood swings LOL because I do not care about them at all, they don’t even phase me! It almost makes me happy that I can see this light bearer attacking, it means this prayer is working, because if this outcome wasn’t going to be what God has shown me is possible, then this attack would have no need to take place at all. But once again. I just WISH he could see it. Once he starts to open his eyes though, that’s when I know he is growing in the Lord, but his sin is blinding him. He has to want to grow in the Lord himself. I do not know what it is going to take for it to happen. Whatever it is, I need to be prepared because it may be something heavy, and he cannot handle heavy. He doesn’t know how to. So I pray it isn’t that, but it is something that shakes him enough, JUST enough. The enemy knows him, and the enemy knows me. He is working from all angles, and it is not easy, but I see the attacks, and we need to put on the WHOLE armor of God. I am praying that neither of us leave a piece at home. but for some reason I keep finding chinks in this flawless armor, as if the enemy switched it, and maybe my husband can’t tell the difference between counterfeit and the real thing, so I am praying he listens to the help… meet. Amen.

One Sided Relationship

Well I pray all the time…

God knows my heart…

I don’t have to go to church to have a relationship with God…

Ok well how often do you read the word of God? Oh He talks to me when I pray.

This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Matthew 16:18 

And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
First, Jesus said lip service is a no-go, and that’s not good enough. Secondly, because in that same verse, he knows your heart and its far from him, but in vain you worship him. Also in prayer, you use vain repetitions, as the heathen do, just saying it over and over, and thinking you will be heard for your much speaking, yeah nope, he wont hear you, that’s not how this thing works buddy. On top of God knowing your heart, he knows its deceitful above ALL things, and desperately wicked, oh but he knows it, but yet…. Who can know it? In away, in Luke, I can, because it states that your heart will produce what is inside of it. The good treasure of the heart will produce, good, and the bad treasure will produce bad, for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. So you will also speak much of what is in your heart. Third, You don’t have to go to a church, Okay… Keep in mind that was Jesus talking when he said to Peter, upon this rock I will build mu church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it, and keep in mind that was BEFORE this man overcame death. So how much more do you think he can over come, AFTER he overcomes death?Matthew 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. That is pretty much church right there. I mean it has grown and is much larger but lean not unto your own understanding. leaning to your own understanding, sounds like an idiot to me. In all thy was acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths. So you don’t even know what HIS word says, but he speaks to you? For all you know those could be the whisperer of the devil, You clearly have no walk with the Lord and you expect him to answer your prayers?? Well what am I getting at?
I was talking to someone today, and she was telling me that she prays for her husband, but doesn’t go to church, doesn’t read the word of God, and doesn’t really do anything. Well what are you praying for  him for then? His downfall? I don’t understand. That’s what you are doing. Lucifer knows the word of God better than you, and you have nothing to stand on, so when something that LOOKS good happens, you will be happy, and stop praying. 1 Pet 5:Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” Clearly if you have no foundation to stand on, you are going to be easily devoured. She said, “well I am praying he is going to stop cheating, you wouldn’t understand, you are an amazing woman, and your husband does so much for you.” she says. As she has seen him bring me stuff, she asked what he did for my birthday, she hasn’t read my blog as there is a reason I am called Jane doe lol.. “Oh honey, if only you knew the half, but if that is your only prayer, when he stops cheating at UNO, your prayers will be answered.” She looked at me, and you could tell with a bit of anger in her face, but she wanted to laugh at the same time. She went on to tell me that’s not what she meant, then why are you praying for that? “But I’m not! ” she exclaimed. Ye have not because ye ask not James 4:1-3, and when you do get it you don’t do right and you ask all amiss by it. You don’t get to the root of the issue in prayer and you wonder why things aren’t working out for you. On top of that you have no walk with God, you do nothing for him, but you want him to move mountains for you? She replied, that’s not true, we have an understanding.
Okay, So let me ask you this… If you and I had a relationship, cause you and God have this understanding, right? “Yes” then lets say that all I did was talk, and you never got a chance to speak, and even if you did I never listened to you, is that a relationship? Her reply… crazy as it was… No that’s very selfish of you. My reply was.. That is exactly what you are doing to God. You refuse to hear is word from his actual written word, and you do not wish to go to Church, nor do you listen to his messages. “Well that’s different.” But how so?” I asked, she couldn’t answer.
You see so many times, we want to put God on the back burner and wonder why he isn’t putting us first. I refuse to have that one sided relationship with him. I refuse to allow my husband to think that anything less than what is right by God is okay, and as his help meet, it is 100% wrong for me to let him think so if I know that is wrong. what he does with that information, that is up to him. there is only so much I can do at a certain point. However, as his help meet, but as that role, I am not here to put him down, I am here to help him out. And if I do not know how to then I will find out ASAP and get it figured out and make sure I do my duties to find out how.
Anyone else who thinks praying is a relationship with God is wrong. It is ONLY A SMALL PART OF THE RELATIONSHIP we are to have with him, but if that is all we have we are in denial, and then yes he knows your heart, and he knows you don’t have one. This is what people claim to have and think its something more than what it is fart to often. Don’t be afraid to tell them they are wrong, be strong in the Lord and bold in his might! In Jesus name I pray these things! Amen

How do I remain unbotherd?

This morning as I pray, I really do pray happily. Most mornings I am joyful when I pray. Some of the time I am in tears, as you can tell by my prior, inconsistent post. But the truth is, all the time in between, its because I am not really crying upon the Lord. That is an issue because it seems I become inconstant in prayer. When I become too inconsistent, the Lord gives me something to pray about. Some of you may be thinking, “what a horrible God that he would let your husband be such a bad man, or you seem so wonderful, how could he let this happen” LOL. Yeah but compared to Jesus none of us are good. Compare me to someone who lies daily, or Jeffrey Dahmer and I am a saint!! Yes! But in reality, we all fall short the glory of God right? Rom 3:23

I have never prayed for a husband like I have prayed for this one. The last one I had was the sweetest man ever, gave me everything I could have ever asked for, back rubs every night, I could do whatever I wanted, but he was jealous and when he drank he got physical, and one day he tried to kill me. I gave him an option, Alcohol or me, and he chose alcohol. And even after  he chose that, he still broke into my house and tried to kill me one last time before he gave me the divorce. I forgave him, and we made peace. Had I prayed for him, who knows, maybe he would have chose me, and he could have been the sober man all the time. I fell short in that marriage because I did not do what I was suppose to as a wife.

So this time around, yes, I can leave him, Yes when he talks about divorce, sure I can let it happen, and if he leaves, 1 Cor 7:15 I can be all right and not look back. Even still. I would have fallen short. In my eyes I would have fallen short. I have learned that whenever it talks about the “unbelieving” in the word of God, sometimes that means those who live as the unbelieving as well, not just those who don’t believe. There is a difference between the believer, Someone who has accepted him in their heart as their savior, Rom 10:9-13 ,someone who just believes on Christ, and a Christian, Someone who follows Christ in their daily walk. Someone who is Just going to go to heaven, and someone who will reap the rewards in heaven.  (Matthew 5:12Luke 6:23; 1 Corinthians 3:149:18 ;James 1:12 ) Why did I point that out? There will be more joy in heaven over one sinner that repents, then over 99 just persons who need no repentance. Luke 15:6-7 , If there is MORE joy, then there could be less joy, however, there is still joy nonetheless. And Joy is joy. This verse gets me, Matthew 16:26-28 , The first verse is about salvation, a believer alone. Going to heaven or hell. I do not have to pray this prayer for my husband, and thank God for that! But after that, once you are saved, and you are saved by grace through faith alone not of works, please do not get that confused, Ehp 2:8-9, but in that 2nd verse, of Matt 16, you will be rewarded according to your works. and if you think you have all good works then bravo, but those lies, those looks, that hatred in your heart, that unforgiveness you’re holding onto, you not putting God first, you putting everything else before him, all of that, will be rewarded accordingly. On the other hand, so will you the friend you lead to Christ, the prayers you prayed for others, the people you tried to help, your heart meaning well, the old lady you helped across the street lol, all of that will be taken into account. And that is what I am praying for my husband, and my daughter, and my friends. They are so blind to the spiritual realm at times, they cannot see past their 5 senses (not all of them of course, speaking in general, and my hubby is the main focus) and this is a major focus of prayer! Now the last verse, That could just be talking about the rapture, I assume.

I am joyful even when I am in an unhappy moment, because joy is eternal, and happiness is an emotional state that can change like the wind. I can get angry in 0-60, and just like that, I can forgive the next minute. Why am I bothered because he cannot see the spiritual battle that is going on around us? He cannot grasp the everlasting beauty of the life beyond, and maybe he is one that thinks that Heaven is good enough. Rewards are better lol, Why not get that crown of life? Why not get that mana from above? Why on earth, would you want to not get all that the almighty wants to give you in heaven? It for sure boggels me, and sometimes I give him that look like…. solutions-features-pooch

But hey… I guess that is why God made Adam a help meet!

When you pray in Gods will, How can he deny you?

Lord I am praying for my husband, that he puts you first. You Restore his heart to the fire when he first loved you. Let my husband love me like Christ loved the church so much he laid down his life and died for it. He gave himself for it. Even Adam gave himself for his wife, and had a deep slumber, almost death like sleep. I mean how don’t you don’t feel a whole rib being taken out of you? And it’s Just so your wife can have life! That alone is amazing! I pray for that, that he learns to die to self, so that I may have life through Christ. In Christ the way that God has ordered. I pray that he can see the spiritual realm, then he can stop being angry at physical truth and he can get to the root of the issues at hand, because he can then answer to God. I see the spiritual battles, I know how Lucifer works and I just wish that he could see it.  WE need to obey the Lord and be able to rebuke the devil, and how can we rebuke what we don’t know? I pray he can get back into discipleship. I don’t even want to talk to him about it, I don’t want to feel like I am forcing anything on him, I just want him to do it on his own accord.

Mark 12:30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Luke 24 :32 And they said one to another, Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Gen 2:21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

Eph 6: 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Acts 11:26 And when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch.

I pray that I can respect my husband. That can be one of the hardest things to do. No matter what is going hard we need to show him respect. It’s like being in the military, you could work for a horrible, Staff NCO or Officer, but you still respected the rank. Why do we have a hard time doing that with our husbands at times? I need to do that at all times. Lord help me. As long as it is as I would unto you. I need to constantly be putting you first in my time, talent, and treasure. when I rise, I listen to Tony Evans. No that is not my local pastor, I live much farther away. But I have the app on my phone, or you can always go to He is the truth! And good to listen to everyday as a start to take the word in! I just need to focus how Church is suppose to be Christ, and how I am to be IN Christ, and that is how I am to be to my husband. Now he is suppose to understand that as well… lol but that is when he needs to lean not unto his own understanding lol. I just need help from God to be obedient in that way. LORD DO I NEED IT!!!!

Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband… 21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

I am praying for my daughters to be obedient in the Lord to us. We are a blended family. Just my older daughter, and then we have one together. I want my oldest to be able to stand up to her father when her step-mother lies on her. Children are to obey your parents in the Lord, Wives are to respect, and submit to their husbands as UNTO the LORD, and husbands are to love their wives as CHRIST loved the church, everything is just as we would Christ. There are parameters set in pace for us to do so, and I just pray that we do follow these with love, and cheerfulness, and boldness.

Eph 6: 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

There are other things I am in prayer for. These are the main things. If my home is in order, then the outward things in life can then follow-through. I also need to keep casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; (2 Corinthians 10:5) Now that I am praying without ceasing, I swear, my thoughts are my worst enemy!

So today I ask these things in Jesus’ name, Amen!

James 4:7

James 4:7  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.


I am focusing on the Lord in time, talent, and treasure. Putting him first. Something i thought inwas doing but I wasn’t. I was trying to take matters into my own hands and force him into someone and that isnt going to work. So I started to pray yesterday. For the past month I have been listening to Gods word every morning. I have been praying here and there.

Yesterday I started to pray. I wrote it down pjna daily calendar. And as much wrong and pain he has caused me and as much wrong he does, it can come down to a simple prayer for him. I pray he puts God first. I pray he can love me like Christ loved the church so much he died for it, and inpray he can get back in discipleship. Everything else will fall into place. If he puts God first he will want his heart. If he loves me lik Christ loved the church so much he died for it… He will learn to die to self, and he will learn to put his old self to death and rise in the likeness of Christ and through discipleship, he will learn what a Christian is. Acts 11:26 “… And the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch” he will learn how to lead and what it means. Today is day 2 of that same prayer. Yesterday the devil attacked hard. I got a message that he is still talking and seeing an ex girlfriend of his and we have been married for 2 years and have a child together. I asked him about it and he got so mad he talked about divorce. Said she is the one telling him to work on things woth me and all these other things. But yet for my birthday he didn’t even want to take a picture eith me and got mad that I posted a picture of us on my facebook page and tagged him in it. Just stupid things like that, that justify the things that I hear. All I did was ask him. I heard from someone else today that he asked her in between breakups, “where does that leave me?” She told him, “with your wife”. And this was from her. And this is the man I am praying for God to change his heart from the inside out.

He doesn’t understand what being ONE flesh means. And I know I have issues with trying to lead at times. No, none of these are excuses for his behaviour. I have flaws too is all I am saying. He always says “Ehhh not a good one from the way you make it seem.” Husband is what he is talking about. Well there is room for improvement. He pays bills. He is the provider and is a pretty good dad. But when you can treat the mother way better, you can be a better father. You’re showing your daughter the behaviour she can find acceptable. Whether she sees it or not.
I have to of course be praying for myself too. And the fact that he says that often, I am praying that I can render respect to him in public and private at all times. Im usually pretty good at it… But am I? If he feels that way, am I? Now am I also wrong for this? I can’t “prove” he’s cheating, because he won’t admit it… But I can prove it… I just haven’t caught him in the act. I have everything but that. So without that… I have spoken multiple women, phone records, emails, but just haven’t caught him in the act. And he denies it. And here I am. So saying he can be a better husband.. Am I wrong for that? Maybe I need to put my pride down and just leave this up to the Lord. I have to try. Like I said, i have been divorced 2x and I don’t know that I have fought, but the battle belongs to the Lord. I need to let him fight for me for once. And if he won’t allow the Lord to work, there is nothing left for me there but to move on. I need to give in to the Lord. And the devil will flee