Wish I Didn’t Miss You

Today is one of those days you find it hard to get over. You wonder why your love wasn’t enough. You wonder how is it possible for you to be so amazing, but yet so unwanted. These are the things I am not supposed to think on, but I am. This is a post I just need to write to get this off my chest. Continue reading

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Patience

Romans 5:3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 5:4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

After all I have been through, you would think I would be a master of patience. I have been through more than most people would go through in 3 lifetimes, and I still want what I want when I want it. For me I think it is more of, uncertainty that bothers me, and the waiting for the outcome of whatever. Not so much me wanting things to happen right now, but me wanting to know right now. I have waited so long for things that will never happen, or things that never did happen. Continue reading

Obedience

So much for doing what I want. I had asked if the person I am writing about, had read this lately. He said he would check it out. I told him he doesn’t have to. As soon as I did that, still small voice tell me I shouldn’t discourage him. This voice that says I am asking the wrong question. This voice that says don’t ask him NOT to read, but ask him to. When I did, I was worse than stage fright. Continue reading

Praying Without Ceasing

1 Thessalonians 5:17-22 is the picture I have chosen from my bible. For this whole place that I am at in my life right now, I am praying without ceasing, for my children, I am praying without ceasing, and for this person I happen to love, I am praying without ceasing. I am learning about giving thanks for all of it. The kids are an easy thing to give thanks for, they are awesome! The other 2, as long as I remember that we rejoice in tribulation, it is easy. Continue reading

The Spirit of Fear

Outside of always having stage fright as far back as I can remember, this is the stage in my life where I allowed the foothold for the devil to creep in.  I got married and pregnant all about the same time in my life, and as that happened, my husband at the time, was not so excited for it.  We made the choice to get pregnant together, but honestly, I didn’t believe it would really be possible, and he knew that as well.  I had a high-risk pregnancy with my first daughter, 2 miscarriages, and a doctor tell me that being able to carry a child to full term, just wouldn’t be in the cards for me.  Having my beautiful baby girl, now 2 years later, you can see just how wrong he was.  I married a ladies man.  Which was hard to believe, because he is the nerdy type, always gaming, but he did ride motorcycles. Continue reading

~FEAR~ 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind

I am waking up to reality lately, and it is a lot to take in.  When you have a gift, and you don’t use it, let’s just say, God has a sense of humor.  It’s not always funny either, and most of the time, we do not get the joke until after it’s all said and done.  I have had a gift of writing, really, since I can remember.  I always did great in elementary school, I would win ribbons for having the best story, or best poem, but I didn’t really pursue it until I was in the 6th grade at age 11. It was after my father told me I was too stupid to become the president, only book writers and lawyers become presidents.  I was 10 at that time, and instead of giving in and believing what he said, I told myself I will write books and become a lawyer, even though it really wasn’t my dream to become president, I just wanted to prove him wrong.  (It took understanding and forgiveness, but I love my father to this day.) Continue reading