This is something I learned many years ago. (I still struggle at times) Sometimes it kind of sucks because you wind up living in a world where you feel no one understand you. But you can step outside the box and understand everything, and everyone as if you are watching a movie you already know the ending to. This does not mean you are perfect, or that you approve or agree with other people’s views or life choices, but that you can see where they are coming from. You also can see the stupid things you do, know when you are wrong, when you will lose, and you have to be humble enough to know when to give in. The funny thing is that I am a very complex person. Proverbs 14:29 typically is talking about two polar opposite people, but that can be me in one, and that is not always a good thing. Continue reading
The things I am going through right now. I finally get over my husband, and he talks to me about working it out. Who does that? I had to accept that he had just moved on, didn’t want me any more, and was better off without me. No lie I prayed that he wasnt having a great time without me, one of those, reap what you sow, kind of situations. While I was still wishing the best for him and praying for his heart for our daughter. For 2 years I have felt like the Israelites in Judges 10:8. Vexed an opressed, shattered and crushed. Not just broken, but shattered into thousands of pieces. My entire marriage was like this. While he was out doing him, I was at home with the children as depression sets in, trying to take care of home, going to work, making things happen for them, not being a team, and not taking care of me. I waiver liie the waves in the ocean in my relationship with Christ. And this morning, it hit me, Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. I know this already, I have written about it, I have tried to make him see it, but I left pieces of my armor at home.
I got a message from a friend I have had for over a decade today, and it made me feel better. I was feeling down, because it seems like, no matter what I do, it’s never good enough for my husband. I didn’t talk bad about him, I just told him well I’m not doing well because I think I will be divorced soon. I don’t feel everyone needs to know what is really going on. I do not wish to bad talk him, this is the father of my youngest daughter, and he is still my husband until he is not. From a biblical stand point on marriage. So my friend hits me up and asks how am I doing, and of course not well. This is a friend of mine that has lived in Florida forever, and I am in the Midwest somewhere, so we are not close at all. You do not have to be to be friends, but as I tell him that I am not doing well, he goes on to say somethings that are rather shocking to me. Continue reading
I guess someone can only be unbothered for so long before they are bothered by the one who is suppose to love and protect them. A heart can only break so many times before it is shattered into a million pieces and like humpty dumpty, cannot be put together again. Is it my fault because prayer for him has become inconsistent? Is it my fault because some days I hate him even though I do not show him anything but love??
At what point does our grace run out? If we are to be Christ-like, then at what point does our likeness run out? When is it okay to not be like him? Is it when someone doesn’t act enough like him, or when they make us angry enough… how about when they are what WE see as evil? Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. ALL sin, no sin is greater than the next, no level of evil, is more or less evil than the next. We just choose to put a level on in it on our world here on earth. Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; No one is perfect, not one of us. And that is why Jesus came here, All God and all man. A man broke the relationship with God and only a man could fix it, but man is too messed up to fix it, so only God could fix it, so how? Jesus. All of these deities, he isn’t half God and half man, he is the ONLY one that is ALL God and ALL man at the same time. He lived a sinless life. He understands compassion, that is why his anger is righteous, his love us selfless, he wants us to be with him, and learn from him, but he will not FORCE us to do so. Continue reading