The things I am going through right now. I finally get over my husband, and he talks to me about working it out. Who does that? I had to accept that he had just moved on, didn’t want me any more, and was better off without me. No lie I prayed that he wasnt having a great time without me, one of those, reap what you sow, kind of situations. While I was still wishing the best for him and praying for his heart for our daughter. For 2 years I have felt like the Israelites in Judges 10:8. Vexed an opressed, shattered and crushed. Not just broken, but shattered into thousands of pieces. My entire marriage was like this. While he was out doing him, I was at home with the children as depression sets in, trying to take care of home, going to work, making things happen for them, not being a team, and not taking care of me. I waiver liie the waves in the ocean in my relationship with Christ. And this morning, it hit me, Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. I know this already, I have written about it, I have tried to make him see it, but I left pieces of my armor at home.
Do you ever feel like you are not worthy of Gods love, mercy, and grace? There are so many days when I feel that way, when I wonder if I am good enough. But then I have to remember, God’s love is like a mothers love, he loved us first, and it is unconditional. 1 John 4:19 and Romans 8:38-39 are just a few verses to let us know about his love, and nothing can change that. Matthew 8:5-15, speaks of a soldier who feels he is not worthy for Jesus to come into his home, but he has so much faith in him, that a word from the mouth of the Lord, and his servant should be healed. Healing, it can be a process for most of us, but when Jesus is in the midst of it all, you only need but a word and it is so. This just hit me. So often we think of healing as something that takes time, and in some cases it can. But what about emotional healing? If you truly trust in God, and KNOW that he is enough, and he will protect you, and comfort you, and guide you, then why is there a process to trust again, love again, or to be whole again? Continue reading
1 Thessalonians 5:15-18,22
15 See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.16 Rejoice evermore. 17 Pray without ceasing.18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you… 21 Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.
This just gave me so much peace to read. All that I have or have not been doing right or wrong, it doesn’t really matter, because at the end of the day God has the final say. What I was doing, was, I wasn’t letting go, and letting God, and this past weekend, I let go. I stopped worrying, and stopped caring, and all of a sudden… I felt so free! Continue reading
There are things that I do not fully understand. That is fine, that is sometimes the way things are. We cannot see them for what they are because we are blinded for what we want them to be. At the same time, when we rebel against God, sometimes things do not work out the way we want them to. Everyone can say that they love God, but the moment you serve him, that’s a different story. I think I am at a breaking point. I have not been consistent in prayer, and not that, that automatically means God will not do right by me, no, but I feel that I have failed. On the other hand, I cannot make someone serve the Lord who doesn’t want to. James chapter 2 really goes into detail about faith without works being dead. It’s just like when someone uses the word love, but has no actions to back it up. As I re-learned love, I learned through Jesus, that love is ALWAYS a selfless act. Regardless of how you feel, you can still choose to love someone. Continue reading
Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
It was weird, the other day after I had posted “My husband, my lord” post, I was messing around with calling him lord again, and of course, Satan, wanted to mess around too. And out of nowhere, here he is (the husband) talking about I told you I would give you whatever you asked for in a divorce. I was like really? WOW!!! And this was all because I told him he couldn’t bowl on Fridays because it didn’t fit the family. He had to find another night. Continue reading
1 Pet 3:6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
One of the hardest attacks I have had, was when I decided to call my husband Lord, after listening to a sermon, from one of my favorites, Tony Evans. I thought I would try it out. It was kind of recent, It was actually when I started up this blog again actually. The funny thing is, I thought he would be like, “don’t call me that”, but he wasn’t that way. I don’t think he minded it much, He was mean lol, and it was funny only because I could see the spiritual working already, and it was so fast. It was INSANE! I did write about it, so you already saw I think, how that worked out. But I was driving when I was listening to the sermon, so I didn’t get to read where she called him Lord, and now that I see the whole scripture, I just of course, just had to write about it! Continue reading
This is short… maybe? lol
So I asked my husband if he listens to anymore Tony Evans? And he was like no, and I was like… OKAY???? and just sat there, he could tell I was kind of upset as I was just silent. I wasn’t going to start anything. I have been sending him some to listen to, only ones that can help him. He responded, and said, “I don’t see why I need to listen to any, I can hear them every morning when I try to sleep and you get ready for work.” As to my reply was something along the lines, “But the door’s shut, and I keep it down, you can hear when I am in the bathroom?” I am pretending as if I am in shock. Now I am not trying to wake him, or make him listen, lol I only listen to the next one in line, but he makes it very clear, it is only a door, he hears every word clear as day!