After all I have been through, you would think I would be a master of patience. I have been through more than most people would go through in 3 lifetimes, and I still want what I want when I want it. For me I think it is more of, uncertainty that bothers me, and the waiting for the outcome of whatever. Not so much me wanting things to happen right now, but me wanting to know right now. I have waited so long for things that will never happen, or things that never did happen. Continue reading
“Be still” is the same thing as “be patient”. It is not easy for someone like me who is a person of action, MOST of the time. When you pray and God keeps giving you Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God. That is patience, and trusting him. This is where you learn just how much you trust in him. Continue reading
Outside of always having stage fright as far back as I can remember, this is the stage in my life where I allowed the foothold for the devil to creep in. I got married and pregnant all about the same time in my life, and as that happened, my husband at the time, was not so excited for it. We made the choice to get pregnant together, but honestly, I didn’t believe it would really be possible, and he knew that as well. I had a high-risk pregnancy with my first daughter, 2 miscarriages, and a doctor tell me that being able to carry a child to full term, just wouldn’t be in the cards for me. Having my beautiful baby girl, now 2 years later, you can see just how wrong he was. I married a ladies man. Which was hard to believe, because he is the nerdy type, always gaming, but he did ride motorcycles. Continue reading
There are three qualities to really take note of in an individual, Loyalty, Respect, and Honesty, and that is someone you can truly trust. There is this song, “If you want love” and some of the lyrics are;
If you want love, you gon’ have to go through the pain
If you want love, you gon’ have to learn how to change
If you want trust, you gon’ have to give some away
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
This is something I learned many years ago. (I still struggle at times) Sometimes it kind of sucks because you wind up living in a world where you feel no one understand you. But you can step outside the box and understand everything, and everyone as if you are watching a movie you already know the ending to. This does not mean you are perfect, or that you approve or agree with other people’s views or life choices, but that you can see where they are coming from. You also can see the stupid things you do, know when you are wrong, when you will lose, and you have to be humble enough to know when to give in. The funny thing is that I am a very complex person. Proverbs 14:29 typically is talking about two polar opposite people, but that can be me in one, and that is not always a good thing. Continue reading
The things I am going through right now. I finally get over my husband, and he talks to me about working it out. Who does that? I had to accept that he had just moved on, didn’t want me any more, and was better off without me. No lie I prayed that he wasnt having a great time without me, one of those, reap what you sow, kind of situations. While I was still wishing the best for him and praying for his heart for our daughter. For 2 years I have felt like the Israelites in Judges 10:8. Vexed an opressed, shattered and crushed. Not just broken, but shattered into thousands of pieces. My entire marriage was like this. While he was out doing him, I was at home with the children as depression sets in, trying to take care of home, going to work, making things happen for them, not being a team, and not taking care of me. I waiver liie the waves in the ocean in my relationship with Christ. And this morning, it hit me, Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. I know this already, I have written about it, I have tried to make him see it, but I left pieces of my armor at home.