Outside of always having stage fright as far back as I can remember, this is the stage in my life where I allowed the foothold for the devil to creep in. I got married and pregnant all about the same time in my life, and as that happened, my husband at the time, was not so excited for it. We made the choice to get pregnant together, but honestly, I didn’t believe it would really be possible, and he knew that as well. I had a high-risk pregnancy with my first daughter, 2 miscarriages, and a doctor tell me that being able to carry a child to full term, just wouldn’t be in the cards for me. Having my beautiful baby girl, now 2 years later, you can see just how wrong he was. I married a ladies man. Which was hard to believe, because he is the nerdy type, always gaming, but he did ride motorcycles. Continue reading
I am waking up to reality lately, and it is a lot to take in. When you have a gift, and you don’t use it, let’s just say, God has a sense of humor. It’s not always funny either, and most of the time, we do not get the joke until after it’s all said and done. I have had a gift of writing, really, since I can remember. I always did great in elementary school, I would win ribbons for having the best story, or best poem, but I didn’t really pursue it until I was in the 6th grade at age 11. It was after my father told me I was too stupid to become the president, only book writers and lawyers become presidents. I was 10 at that time, and instead of giving in and believing what he said, I told myself I will write books and become a lawyer, even though it really wasn’t my dream to become president, I just wanted to prove him wrong. (It took understanding and forgiveness, but I love my father to this day.) Continue reading
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
There are three qualities to really take note of in an individual, Loyalty, Respect, and Honesty, and that is someone you can truly trust. There is this song, “If you want love” and some of the lyrics are;
If you want love, you gon’ have to go through the pain
If you want love, you gon’ have to learn how to change
If you want trust, you gon’ have to give some away
They say love can make you do some crazy things! If you act crazy, but ONLY for a moment, and no more than VERY few and FAR between, we are only human, and depending on what else, then As long as you check yourself, then who am I to disagree? But if a moment has passed, and you still crazy??? Then, no. That is not love. 1 Corinthians 13 is nicknamed the love chapter for a reason. I can tell you that, lying, yelling, keying a car, hitting, reminding someone they’re not worth a title (or the lack thereof), cheating, busting the windows out someones car, allowing your partner to feel insecure (especially men, save that for another day) stealing, and I think you can get where I am going with this list. Anything that would belong in this theme, is not an action of love. I will say, often times, we learn love from our parents or someone who doesn’t know love, and therefore, we do not know love. Because of that, we will show love in the wrong way. Continue reading
I think the hardest part about going through all that I am going through is that I am used to being married. It’s kind of crazy because at the same time, I am used to sleeping alone for so long, maybe 5 months now? I know that Valentine’s day is coming up, and that honestly is the scariest day of the year for me. I can really only remember ONE good Valentines day. The rest have been thoughtless, telling me here’s $20 go get you some flowers and candy, starting a fight because they do not like the holiday, and it’s not like going out is a big deal for me on that day. Everywhere you go, the food is more expensive, its crowded, but then again, I do like getting dressed up, so there’s that lol. Perfect excuse to look good!!! ANYWAY, let me get back on topic or, get to the point. I am not sure if it is actually him I miss, or the touch of a man’s hand in the small of my back while my head is on his chest listening to his heart beat, or if it’s the companionship, or if it is him. Just him.
Temptation sneaks up upon us like a Marine sneaking up the stream. You don’t realize it’s there, until shots are fired and it’s too late. Sometimes it is partially planned, but in reality, you think you can hold back. You know you can, but when it is in your face, you no longer can resist the feeling that is in your most inner parts. Genesis 3 is a lot to swallow! It is the first time you see temptation, and you see how emotion and confusion allows for temptation to creep in. Also, how easy it is to twist the word of God. Whats crazy is, if she would have eaten the other tree, she would have had everlasting life (Genesis 3:22), knowing good and evil, AND living forever. If you see the history of mankind, that just doesn’t seem like a great mix, LOL. I guess it seems you can only have one or the other. Which makes sense as to why Jesus had to die on the cross for our sins, and only he can separate, our flesh from our sins, and give us everlasting life. Continue reading