Outside of always having stage fright as far back as I can remember, this is the stage in my life where I allowed the foothold for the devil to creep in. I got married and pregnant all about the same time in my life, and as that happened, my husband at the time, was not so excited for it. We made the choice to get pregnant together, but honestly, I didn’t believe it would really be possible, and he knew that as well. I had a high-risk pregnancy with my first daughter, 2 miscarriages, and a doctor tell me that being able to carry a child to full term, just wouldn’t be in the cards for me. Having my beautiful baby girl, now 2 years later, you can see just how wrong he was. I married a ladies man. Which was hard to believe, because he is the nerdy type, always gaming, but he did ride motorcycles. Continue reading
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
The things I am going through right now. I finally get over my husband, and he talks to me about working it out. Who does that? I had to accept that he had just moved on, didn’t want me any more, and was better off without me. No lie I prayed that he wasnt having a great time without me, one of those, reap what you sow, kind of situations. While I was still wishing the best for him and praying for his heart for our daughter. For 2 years I have felt like the Israelites in Judges 10:8. Vexed an opressed, shattered and crushed. Not just broken, but shattered into thousands of pieces. My entire marriage was like this. While he was out doing him, I was at home with the children as depression sets in, trying to take care of home, going to work, making things happen for them, not being a team, and not taking care of me. I waiver liie the waves in the ocean in my relationship with Christ. And this morning, it hit me, Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. I know this already, I have written about it, I have tried to make him see it, but I left pieces of my armor at home.
I always say, “You can’t have a rainbow, without the rain.” That is probably, one of my favorite sayings, because you cannot truly appreciate the good without the bad. Suicide is a first world problem, and it MOSTLY happens with those who seem to have it all, and they are still missing something, or they lost it all. (There are other cases, when people have to face demons all alone, and it seems as though you have no one who can possibly understand you, ect.) Some of the richest people you will ever meet are those with nothing, and some of the most beautiful artwork, comes from those who have experienced the most pain. But at the end of the day, your fear of the storm, is determined by your faith in Jesus. Continue reading
1 Pet 3:6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
One of the hardest attacks I have had, was when I decided to call my husband Lord, after listening to a sermon, from one of my favorites, Tony Evans. I thought I would try it out. It was kind of recent, It was actually when I started up this blog again actually. The funny thing is, I thought he would be like, “don’t call me that”, but he wasn’t that way. I don’t think he minded it much, He was mean lol, and it was funny only because I could see the spiritual working already, and it was so fast. It was INSANE! I did write about it, so you already saw I think, how that worked out. But I was driving when I was listening to the sermon, so I didn’t get to read where she called him Lord, and now that I see the whole scripture, I just of course, just had to write about it! Continue reading
This is short… maybe? lol
So I asked my husband if he listens to anymore Tony Evans? And he was like no, and I was like… OKAY???? and just sat there, he could tell I was kind of upset as I was just silent. I wasn’t going to start anything. I have been sending him some to listen to, only ones that can help him. He responded, and said, “I don’t see why I need to listen to any, I can hear them every morning when I try to sleep and you get ready for work.” As to my reply was something along the lines, “But the door’s shut, and I keep it down, you can hear when I am in the bathroom?” I am pretending as if I am in shock. Now I am not trying to wake him, or make him listen, lol I only listen to the next one in line, but he makes it very clear, it is only a door, he hears every word clear as day!