The Spirit of Fear

Outside of always having stage fright as far back as I can remember, this is the stage in my life where I allowed the foothold for the devil to creep in.  I got married and pregnant all about the same time in my life, and as that happened, my husband at the time, was not so excited for it.  We made the choice to get pregnant together, but honestly, I didn’t believe it would really be possible, and he knew that as well.  I had a high-risk pregnancy with my first daughter, 2 miscarriages, and a doctor tell me that being able to carry a child to full term, just wouldn’t be in the cards for me.  Having my beautiful baby girl, now 2 years later, you can see just how wrong he was.  I married a ladies man.  Which was hard to believe, because he is the nerdy type, always gaming, but he did ride motorcycles. Continue reading

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The Power of Love

They say love can make you do some crazy things! If you act crazy, but ONLY for a moment, and no more than VERY few and FAR between, we are only human, and depending on what else, then As long as you check yourself, then who am I to disagree? But if a moment has passed, and you still crazy??? Then, no. That is not love. 1 Corinthians 13 is nicknamed the love chapter for a reason. I can tell you that, lying, yelling, keying a car, hitting, reminding someone they’re not worth a title (or the lack thereof), cheating, busting the windows out someones car, allowing your partner to feel insecure (especially men, save that for another day) stealing, and I think you can get where I am going with this list. Anything that would belong in this theme, is not an action of love. I will say, often times, we learn love from our parents or someone who doesn’t know love, and therefore, we do not know love. Because of that, we will show love in the wrong way.  Continue reading

Seek first To Understand, You may Never be Understood.

This is something I learned many years ago. (I still struggle at times) Sometimes it kind of sucks because you wind up living in a world where you feel no one understand you. But you can step outside the box and understand everything, and everyone as if you are watching a movie you already know the ending to. This does not mean you are perfect, or that you approve or agree with other people’s views or life choices, but that you can see where they are coming from. You also can see the stupid things you do, know when you are wrong, when you will lose, and you have to be humble enough to know when to give in. The funny thing is that I am a very complex person. Proverbs 14:29 typically is talking about two polar opposite people, but that can be me in one, and that is not always a good thing.  Continue reading

Ephesians 6:12 Spiritual Warfare

The things I am going through right now. I finally get over my husband, and he talks to me about working it out. Who does that? I had to accept that he had just moved on, didn’t want me any more, and was better off without me. No lie I prayed that he wasnt having a great time without me, one of those, reap what you sow, kind of situations. While I was still wishing the best for him and praying for his heart for our daughter. For 2 years I have felt like the Israelites in Judges 10:8. Vexed an opressed, shattered and crushed. Not just broken, but shattered into thousands of pieces. My entire marriage was like this. While he was out doing him, I was at home with the children as depression sets in, trying to take care of home, going to work, making things happen for them, not being a team, and not taking care of me. I waiver liie the waves in the ocean in my relationship with Christ. And this morning, it hit me, Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. I know this already, I have written about it, I have tried to make him see it, but I left pieces of my armor at home.

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The Calm after the Storm

I always say, “You can’t have a rainbow, without the rain.” That is probably, one of my favorite sayings, because you cannot truly appreciate the good without the bad. Suicide is a first world problem, and it MOSTLY happens with those who seem to have it all, and they are still missing something, or they lost it all. (There are other cases, when people have to face demons all alone, and it seems as though you have no one who can possibly understand you, ect.) Some of the richest people you will ever meet are those with nothing, and some of the most beautiful artwork, comes from those who have experienced the most pain. But at the end of the day, your fear of the storm, is determined by  your faith in Jesus.  Continue reading

My Husband, My Lord

1 Pet 3:Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

One of the hardest attacks I have had, was when I decided to call my husband Lord, after listening to a sermon, from one of my favorites, Tony Evans. I thought I would try it out. It was kind of recent, It was actually when I started up this blog again actually. The funny thing is, I thought he would be like, “don’t call me that”, but he wasn’t that way. I don’t think he minded it much, He was mean lol, and it was funny only because I could see the spiritual working already, and it was so fast. It was INSANE! I did write about it, so you already saw I think, how that worked out. But I was driving when I was listening to the sermon, so I didn’t get to read where she called him Lord, and now that I see the whole scripture, I just of course, just had to write about it!  Continue reading

Best Friends

Everything Most I write is mostly about my spouse, and praying for my husband, and what I am going through with him, or what I have been through. Today I am going to be praying for my besties. I was going to write this a while ago, and I held back only because my BF1 sent me a screenshot of a FB page and was like did you mean for people to see this? I was driving home, I did not mean for anyone to see it, and it lead her here. Fortunately, Facebook can tell you status updates, much like most websites, and let you know how many people saw what. Only one person went to go and look at the changes I made on that page, LOL, and that one person was her!

Unfortunately, I didn’t want her to know this side of me. Although a part of her already knew. We have known each other since we were basically, about 11, give or take, and we are about 33ish. so 20ish years. I sent her the handwritten version of my prayer request, which is very short for what I am praying for her and BF2. (Best Friend 1 and 2) Just in case you all can’t figure that out, I’m sure you can! LOL!

There are only 3 prayers written down,  Continue reading