The Spirit of Fear

Outside of always having stage fright as far back as I can remember, this is the stage in my life where I allowed the foothold for the devil to creep in.  I got married and pregnant all about the same time in my life, and as that happened, my husband at the time, was not so excited for it.  We made the choice to get pregnant together, but honestly, I didn’t believe it would really be possible, and he knew that as well.  I had a high-risk pregnancy with my first daughter, 2 miscarriages, and a doctor tell me that being able to carry a child to full term, just wouldn’t be in the cards for me.  Having my beautiful baby girl, now 2 years later, you can see just how wrong he was.  I married a ladies man.  Which was hard to believe, because he is the nerdy type, always gaming, but he did ride motorcycles. Continue reading

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~FEAR~ 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind

I am waking up to reality lately, and it is a lot to take in.  When you have a gift, and you don’t use it, let’s just say, God has a sense of humor.  It’s not always funny either, and most of the time, we do not get the joke until after it’s all said and done.  I have had a gift of writing, really, since I can remember.  I always did great in elementary school, I would win ribbons for having the best story, or best poem, but I didn’t really pursue it until I was in the 6th grade at age 11. It was after my father told me I was too stupid to become the president, only book writers and lawyers become presidents.  I was 10 at that time, and instead of giving in and believing what he said, I told myself I will write books and become a lawyer, even though it really wasn’t my dream to become president, I just wanted to prove him wrong.  (It took understanding and forgiveness, but I love my father to this day.) Continue reading

Trust, Honesty, Respect

There are three qualities to really take note of in an individual, Loyalty, Respect, and Honesty, and that is someone you can truly trust. There is this song, “If you want love” and some of the lyrics are;

If you want love, you gon’ have to go through the pain
If you want love, you gon’ have to learn how to change
If you want trust, you gon’ have to give some away

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The Power of Love

They say love can make you do some crazy things! If you act crazy, but ONLY for a moment, and no more than VERY few and FAR between, we are only human, and depending on what else, then As long as you check yourself, then who am I to disagree? But if a moment has passed, and you still crazy??? Then, no. That is not love. 1 Corinthians 13 is nicknamed the love chapter for a reason. I can tell you that, lying, yelling, keying a car, hitting, reminding someone they’re not worth a title (or the lack thereof), cheating, busting the windows out someones car, allowing your partner to feel insecure (especially men, save that for another day) stealing, and I think you can get where I am going with this list. Anything that would belong in this theme, is not an action of love. I will say, often times, we learn love from our parents or someone who doesn’t know love, and therefore, we do not know love. Because of that, we will show love in the wrong way.  Continue reading

Seek first To Understand, You may Never be Understood.

This is something I learned many years ago. (I still struggle at times) Sometimes it kind of sucks because you wind up living in a world where you feel no one understand you. But you can step outside the box and understand everything, and everyone as if you are watching a movie you already know the ending to. This does not mean you are perfect, or that you approve or agree with other people’s views or life choices, but that you can see where they are coming from. You also can see the stupid things you do, know when you are wrong, when you will lose, and you have to be humble enough to know when to give in. The funny thing is that I am a very complex person. Proverbs 14:29 typically is talking about two polar opposite people, but that can be me in one, and that is not always a good thing.  Continue reading

Ephesians 6:12 Spiritual Warfare

The things I am going through right now. I finally get over my husband, and he talks to me about working it out. Who does that? I had to accept that he had just moved on, didn’t want me any more, and was better off without me. No lie I prayed that he wasnt having a great time without me, one of those, reap what you sow, kind of situations. While I was still wishing the best for him and praying for his heart for our daughter. For 2 years I have felt like the Israelites in Judges 10:8. Vexed an opressed, shattered and crushed. Not just broken, but shattered into thousands of pieces. My entire marriage was like this. While he was out doing him, I was at home with the children as depression sets in, trying to take care of home, going to work, making things happen for them, not being a team, and not taking care of me. I waiver liie the waves in the ocean in my relationship with Christ. And this morning, it hit me, Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. I know this already, I have written about it, I have tried to make him see it, but I left pieces of my armor at home.

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